Thursday, February 26, 2009

Picnicking

In a long time I have not written about affairs diurnal but today was a memorable day. What was today: a great sunny day with mom dad and neighbours et al. What did we do, you ask, we went for a picnic. It’s such a joy to return to childhood with all the adult toys of-course. My digital camera helped me capture some great moments.

me at the keel

We went on a steamer sailing in the Yamuna for the entire day. It was a great day. This I say not for myself, but for cinema which without being Indian still reeks of Indianness. Slumdog Millionaire won 8 Oscars and literally swept all audience at the Kodak theatre off their feet. I woke up at 7:00 am and watched the entire show with zeal as if I would be betraying my Indian citizenship if I didn’t root for slumdog. Well so I did. And up until the show got over despite my mother’s warnings I saw and cheered. After which I got ready and helped her pack the basket of goodies- pakoras, cashews, chutneys, peanuts, lotus seeds, grapes, papaya, rabris, napkins, n sweets.

We spent the entire day on the boat. We played housie and we ate. With the help of a strategically placed wooden board we would board the boat and alight from it. A lil boy taught me how to throw a pebble in the water so that it jumps about 2-3 times before finally sinking. Boy! it was a fantastic day!!

everybody

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

4Ps of SEX

For the uninitiated 4Ps is product, price, place and promotion. These, my friends, are the most important tenets of tactical marketing a marketer would swear by. Under no circumstances is one in the field of marketing ever supposed to forget either the number or the associated concept!

Not that I am Vatsyayan or as far as I know he was any one of my ancestors, many of my friends think that I should share my views on sex. Not in the same way as I think about it but as they suggested time and again. For example, the whole “women pay sex as the price for marriage and men pay marriage as the price for sex” or several other mundane topics. Nonetheless since sex is essential and also always a topic for discussion at least twice in one second in some part of the world it deserves a few words. I am going to pen my few words through a marketer’s eye and I think this 4 word marketing concept will help me analyse this 3 letter word aptly.

Hence I begin with the product itself, sex: is the act between, well since Adam and Eve it was meant to be between a man and woman but then came along the Greeks and homosexuality was ok too, two people. It is the most intimate act between two people, essentially to procreate but also for entertainment, satisfaction and a host of other emotions not all honourable.

It’s no wonder then that Avril Lavigne sang:
He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?

The product is accessorised too. There are paraphernalia to protect, to get things up, to get things down, to get things going and more. The product is sold and not just as it is but on tapes and online, it is sold as pornography across the world and is a lucrative business. The product was meant to bring two people together so that they could connect on all levels- physical and sublime. It was meant to be an act between a man and woman (I will keep it simple by considering its only one form- between a man and a woman) which could lead them to appreciate each other better. Aside of that it was meant to excite and bring to rest those hormones which raged in our bodies. The product has attractive packaging- if you know what I mean!

The price as axiomatically said is marriage. Of-course you could actually go to the market and buy it. This is not a cheap commodity though and is illegal in most countries in almost all continents! In my opinion the price for sex between consulting adults or just experimenting teenagers is built into the endless cell phone recharges, roses, chocolates, assignments done, combined studies, free rides, dinners, drinks, movies, pit-less cups of coffee. There’s also after-sales service, may be this is the only product for which both parties pay the price. Now, I might sound sexist or traditionalist or both, but I think in the end women pay more of a price than men for this act with or without the marriage.

Place for sex? You would be surprised that islands like Maldives are thriving not because of their scenic beauty but the millions of honeymooners flocking there for the sex amidst the scenic beauty. Same for many island countries and if the exact tourism garnered by honeymooners or by those with a quenchless thirst for “doing it” in exotic locations was estimated I believe it would have to be at least a one-fourth of the entire touring population. The act for most people happens in a bed but the options touted to make it more innovative are gazillions- from the pool table to the trial rooms in crowded stores.

Sex has not needed much promotion but in the last few decades magazines like Cosmopolitan, Penthouse, and Playboy and all other sorts have promoted it in small measures. Men buying lingerie for women and women wearing boxers, both sexy moves I think, can be accredited to nobody but these amazing books.

I have not answered any cosmic queries about sex or expressed my views about teen sex or anything but I do think we should be able to discuss it more and not in the hush tones as we do now. Alas, this would only spoil much of the fun in talking about it…

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Coming of Age


Darwin said we have evolved from a monkey. Fossils of our ancestors were found in Africa. So, let Darwin say anything about our evolution from apes-where are we in the race of evolution now?

In our million years of our existence we have grown physically and mentally, or so is believed.Plato in philosophy and Einstein in science made the world aware of various theories and contributed to the growth in the homo sapien's intellect. Centuries have made a difference to our IQs and EQs and made our lives simpler to live. Does so many years on the planet mean that we have matured as people and we understand each other better? We understand Moon, Mars, and Menopause better but do we understand emotions better?

Is this a given that maturity ∞ age or is this a myth. In the Hindi movie Cheeni Kum the little girl handles her illness much better than several people much older to her can. But then the counter argument can be that she is only a fictional character. There could be no truth to her character. So, let us propose a hypothesis that maturity is proportional to age. So, if there was a linear relation between them it would look like this:

Maturity = K*Age where k is a constant.

This hypothesis could be proved under a 95% confidence limit. But, there could be a difficulty proving such thing because of the qualitative nature of the variables involved. So much for the math then!

Maturity is something which makes me sensible, controls my anger when i should not be angry, demands professionalism from me, makes me amiable to people, makes me conduct myself in public, makes life easier for me and people around me. All this and more is MATURITY-it's somewhat different from sensibility cos it helps me distinguish between just that and insensibility.

There are not many people I know who are young, like younger than 18yrs of age, and mature.Also, I have met loads of people who are older but an ounce of maturity is missing in them. I am not putting an age, crossing which people should become mature. Till when am i supposed to put up with those people but; who are immature. I want to put an age limit till which i ought to tolerate immaturity. Else wouldn't i be suffering from something that i have tried not to become myself? It will defeat the whole purpose of my ancestors who tried to figure out if earth went round the sun or sun did that for us..

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

World Peace

I recently turned to vegetarianism to show my concern for world peace. Its just one of the "isms" that i thought would help me contribute to world peace. This action was spurred not by terrorist attacks in Mumbai or the swearing in of Barack Obama. This started much earlier than that. Also strangely it coincided with my mom also quitting non-veg food. Her reasons may have been religious unlike mine but all the same both of us believed that the paths to our salvation lay in vegetarianism.

My idiosyncrasies were guided by lots of things, which i believed were the signs sent from the lord almighty himself. A movie, a professor, my sister, and a couple of more things that led me in the direction of vegetarianism. None of these reasons are spiritual, I don't know what brought it in me but i did it anyway. Somewhere, I read: Peace like Charity begins at home, so I did the right thing, perhaps.

Now, world peace means less terrorism, fewer border patrol, concern for humanity, saving of the rain forests, women rights, respect for individuals, tolerance for religions, equality for all, love for mankind. My little gesture is far from all this but doesn't that show that i care? Doesn't that show it makes a difference to me that i espouse the cause of all those noble laureates who win it for world peace. It is very hard to sit across a person relish the food you have eaten once but dare not touch again, lest it lure you back into the other "ism".

Why is that then that people think they should buy me out of finding my own salvation. Someone cooks meat specially for me, but wouldn't eating that mean that i give up on a belief that somethings can be changed? I do not think i can persuade anybody to stop killing, plus it would mean me persuading the butcher to stop earning his means of livelihood. Can i do that, should i do that? The answer to the latter may be yes but to the former may be not. I mean it would be as sinuous as asking the king to adopt a hermit's way just so you could inherit his wealth.

A friend says people wouldn't understand so i should stop trying; but have I tried everything that i could till now, that i should give it up? A question which sways me between "v-ism" and "nv-ism" . Or is it enough to say that

One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal